Residing In Thailand

- In a Thai restaurant, the proprietor will never ask a client if the music/TV on offer is acceptable or too loud. Same goes for any other commercial establishment, indoors or outdoors. Even if you were the only customer in a restaurant, you would not be asked. Music/TV will be pervasive throughout the room and will likely be loud. In other words, there is no concept of placing hi-fi speakers in such a way as to allow a relatively quiet area.

- Thais love air conditioning. Granted, in a semi-tropical country, air-con is often desirable. Yet, in Thailand it is often on unnecessarily and too intensely. This is only slightly annoying when entering places that are too cold, but it is a major drag when one considers the massive amounts of electricity consumed. Air conditioners go full bore, even if the outside air is cool.

- A westerner will dig with a shovel, an Asian will dig with a hoe. Framing hammers do not exist in Thailand. A house without stout corner columns is considered "weak" in Thailand, even when the corner bricks/blocks are interlaced.

- Burmese people eat avocados, whereas their direct neighbors the Thais, think avos are too odd. Regarding cooked winter squash; Thai people eat the rind, westerners don't.

- Bar levels are a rare tool, as Thais prefer to use 'tube' levels to level construction projects. This can cause such problems as storm sewers that don't drain - it's true. In my adopted town of Chiang Rai, sections of road have been torn up and storm drains re-laid because they simply don't work as they should. Some stretches of road have been destroyed and rebuilt several times within a two year period!

- Thais are not xenophobic but they do have a quirky view of foreigners. Their word for a non-Asian foreigner is 'farang' (pronounced falang). I tease my Thai friends by saying that we're all farangs - the only non-farangs are monkeys (which are nearly extinct). Seriously though, if one looks back through time, all Thais came from someplace else. If one considers the Malay as the first peoples of the southeast Asian land mass, then 99% of Thais are farang. Thai people are composites of dozens of ethnic groups that have come from every compass direction. The comparisons are mostly academic except where bias rears its fuzzy head in such situations as; different entry fees for museums and national parks depending upon whether someone looks like a westerner or an Asian.

- A caucasian-featured person with no Thai parentage has no chance of gaining Thai citizenship. Alternatively, a person with Asian or Arab features has a possibility of gaining Thai citizenship. Thai people consider themselves members of a 'pure' race (it isn't) and could not fathom the idea of a caucasian or negroid person becoming Thai. This contrasts with many other countries of the world, namely; New Zealand, Australia, most of Europe, the U.S., South Africa, Hong Kong, and much of South America - where all types of people have gained citizenship.

- There is no poison ivy, poison oak, nor any other plants (that I know of) with poisonous leaves in Thailand. However, there are several vines with tiny glochid-like hairs that embed in the skin - very itchy. There are also plants whose branches are covered in small, detachable brambles. These grow hardy on poor soils and are prevalent over vast rural areas. Also, throughout 100 months of hiking and bouldering in the hills of rural Thailand, I have seen but two ticks. Beware of small black/gray "fuzzy" caterpillars; they're very itchy.

- Thai people are polite to a fault, and 'saving face' is paramount. For example; loud sounds in restaurants are not complained about, as it might risk embarrassing the manager. Similarly, painfully loud motorcycles or loudspeakers blaring on streets are accepted without complaints. Thais would rather accept deteriorating standards of living than have someone (restaurateur, policeman, politician, etc) risk 'losing face.'

- More about 'saving face'; Saving face (avoiding derision) is more important than justice ....even more important than a person's life. Take for example the son of a rich politician (true story) who shot and killed a man who stepped on his shoe (note: the sole of the foot is considered the lowliest part of the body). An addendum; The lleged murdere, a politician's son, was shielded from the law for a week by a military honcho (who suffered no repercussions for sheltering a fugitive). The wayward son then ran from the law for many months until his father bargained a deal to have him 'turn himself in' because 'loss of face' was weighing too heavy on the family.

Many other real-life examples exist of Thai people commiting heinious crimes, yet not being arrested/prosecuted/punished because they're too high on the social register to be taken to task. If you're an important person in Thailand, you are above the law - simplistic-sounding, but true. It's rare indeed for anyone of esteemed stature (politician, police chief, military brass, lawyer, doctor, professor, etc.) to be seriously fined or sent to jail for any proven illegality. Sure, the laws as written, don't specify that that certain groups are 'above the law', but day-to-day reality proves otherwise.

- Because Thais, particularly hill tribe people, hunt birds for food, there are few sizable birds to be seen or heard in the countryside. One exception; occasional speckled owls that nest in craggy hillsides. Though not as bad as the Chinese, rural Thai people consider any wild animal with any nourishment is fair game - with little heed to preserving rare species.. Hence, conservation takes a back seat to putting a few extra calories on the table.

- Although putting walls and fences around property is common everywhere, it's no less popular in Thailand. Walk down any street in a Thai town or suburb, and you're walking within a walled/fenced street. Similarly, nearly all shops (and many townhouses) have sliding steel security doors. Not only are they unsightly (and remind everyone that they cannot trust eachother), but they make a loud racket everytime they're rolled up and pulled down.

Quirky things about living in Thailand